It was only a matter of time, wasn’t it? The Grand Tour of our southern neighbor, well, if you skip over Mexico and the Central American isthmus, that is. Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, Peru. And during (their) summertime no less!! Christmas spent on a beautiful white sand beach in Chile; New Year’s in Rio; Epiphany in Buenos Aires; Valentine’s Day in Punta del Este, Uruguay.
Oh wait, I totally forgot to mention Antarctica! Talk about burying the lead. But damn right!! The southernmost continent has been seen by these myopic eyes!
And so, ladies and gentlemen, let’s begin this glorious journey. It’s a long one. Sit back, relax, and I do hope you enjoy it. I really, really did.
South America
As with other trips taken recently, I mixed a bit of land travel with both sea and air. It started out of the port of Los Angeles aboard a Princess cruise that took me along the western coast of Central and South America. The end point of the cruise and the starting point of this Travelog is San Antonio, the port of Santiago in Chile.
Let us overlook the cruise stops along the way, shall we? And focus on my “way up” the continent with the exception of my “way down” to Antarctica.
Chile
Viña del Mar
The beach playground of the residents of Santiago, about 90 minutes away. It used to be Valparaiso, the city right next door, but economic downturns, over the years, chased away industries and the city got progressively poorer and more dangerous. Everyone who could simply went a few miles up the coast to Viña.
It has a South of France feel to it: From the turn of the century buildings to the promenade along the beach. Yep, definite elements of Cannes on the wider sections and Antibes where the cliffs hug the coast. I liked it. Felt right at home.
Bahia Inglesa
As close to my perfect little beach town as I’ve come across. It’s on the edge of the Atacama desert in northern Chile. There’s nothing around it. It’s the desert meeting the sea. Two hotels bookend a 500 foot promenade that has maybe a dozen or so bars and restaurants. The sand is almost white and is soft enough. The water, slightly brisk, is refreshing when the mercury rises.
So why do you sense a hesitancy on my part? It’s the jellyfish! Millions of them!! And just as Indiana Jones hates snakes; “hate ‘em, Jacques, really really hate ‘em,” well for me it’s jellyfish. They are the stuff of my nightmares! Granted they don’t move fast, but they inexorably and continually advance towards me and through the horror of nightmare reality, I can never ever move fast enough nor far enough to get away from them. They just keep coming. Yech! No me gusta!
Santiago
Meh. Just another large metropolitan area lacking in charm. It does have the tallest tower in all of South America with a spectacular view, so I guess there’s that.
Uruguay
Montevideo
I liked it, at first. Driving in from the airport was a delight. Through lovely suburbs with lawns and nice homes lining the road. Then I didn’t like it. The main downtown area was dull, gray, dirty and dark. Cracked sidewalks, no street lamps and strange people lurking in the shadows. But then I liked it again as I headed east along the coast. Another place built to resemble the South of France.
Sheesh, in re-reading this, I keep talking about the South of France,
don’t I? Well, that’s how it works for me. I’m constantly comparing one place to another. It’s my “filing system”, if you will, and how I keep it all straight. However, I think what I’m saying is that you need to visit the South of France at least once in your life as it’s a really beautiful part of the world. So much so, that many other places around the world have used it as inspiration to mold their own regions.
Ahem, OK, back to South America!
Colonia
What an absolutely darling town. Jutting out onto a tiny peninsula in the Plata River, just across from Buenos Aires (an hour away by ferry boat), this town is a time capsule of the 1750s. Tiny cobblestoned streets, small Spanish colonial homes, tree-lined streets that cast much needed shade and create a nice breeze on hot and sunny summer days.
I was there during high season but it never got overcrowded. I meandered through the town, stopping here for a café, there for a glass of wine, with lunch in between. Outdoor cafés spill onto the various plazas and along the riverbank.
If I’m to be a stickler, well, it’s that Colonia is on the banks of a slow moving river that sources from far up the South American interior so the water’s a dull, muddy brown. I’ve never been much of a river swimmer and though I see plenty of people swimming in it, for me brown is not the color I equate with rivers and seas. It’s just so uninviting.
Punta del Este
This is the big resort town 3 hours east of the capital, Montevideo. World famous. World renown. Full of foreigners, though mainly Argentines and Brazilians, here to tan away their stress and worries. And just like Montevideo, I liked it, didn’t like it, then liked it again!
The long arc of the two beaches, one on either side of the point, are large enough to accommodate the crowds. Several beach clubs: places where you can rent daybeds, lounge chairs, umbrellas and order food & drinks, dotted the beach. It wasn’t overwhelming like some other beach towns, where you can’t find spare sand to lay your towel.
In some places, tall white residential towers battle each other for coastal land and sea views (the me no-likey part). The commercial center, on the point, was nice; full of shops, restaurants and bars. I didn’t go to any of the big fancy nightclubs as I was usually back in my room way before midnight. These weary old bones need their rest and recuperation time. There was also a wonderful promenade that hugged the entire point so that you could stroll from one side, Mansa Beach, the windless, quiet side, to the other, Brava Beach, the windier, rugged one.
I went a bit further up the coast to the town of José Ignacio. Oh how far it's come from being named after a marooned sailor to a beach town for millionaires that’s so secretive, everyone knows about it! Nice beach and interestingly there is no town; it’s all residential. The homes are squashed together on this tiny spit of land and, I don’t know what the architects were thinking, they all resemble military bunkers! Seriously. They’re huge horizontal monstrosities made out of concrete.
Sometimes I just don’t get “art”, or in this case, "architecture."
Brazil
Brazil kinda snuck into this trip by pure happenstance. Actually twice. I was going to bypass it altogether because I wasn’t going to have enough time to tour this massive country. To do it right, I’d need a few months and so it’d be a trip unto itself. But it was so tantalizingly close that a quick peek couldn’t hurt at, say, Carnaval time (early Feb). That would be fun! What am I saying? It’d be FANTASTIC!!!
With that in mind, I began scouring various travel sites when an article about Brazilian visas popped up. The government was re-imposing tourist visas starting January 10th. Oh no, so much for Carnaval. However, these sort of travel obstacles get me revved up a bit and I instantly begin looking for work-arounds. They get me thinking and planning and zigging and zagging. This is why I rarely plan more than a week in advance. Things pop up when taking such long voyages and I need to remain nimble and flexible, like a puma!
So while I wasn’t planning on visiting Brazil, now I simply had to go, get in, get out before the visa rules took effect. And to that end, lo and behold, I found a cruise departing Uruguay, going up the coast with, get this, New Year’s Eve in Rio! Oh my. If I can’t do Carnaval, then New Year’s Eve off of Copacabana Beach ain’t too shabby!
Buzios
One stop was the beach town of Buzios. A little peninsula about 3 hours from Rio. Now what makes this place special is its attachment to a French starlet of the 60’s. The incomparable Brigitte Bardot herself placed this beach town on the international scene back in 1964. She was in Rio with her then Brazilian boyfriend but was so hounded by the paparazzi that they escaped to this sleepy fishing town. The secret didn’t stay hidden for long. The starlets of Rio quickly descended to the beach to be “snapped” by the photogs when they couldn’t find Ms Bardot. Then came the artists, the moneyed, the bourgeois and finally the masses. In a span of 4 months Buzios became the St Tropez of Brazil. Luckily though it managed to keep quite a bit of its charm. Perhaps the hilly terrain and the lack of large flat tracts of land had something to do with it.
Rio de Janeiro
Been looking forward to visiting this city for quite some time. I think it’s on everyone’s list. The beaches are mythical: Copacabana, Leblon, Ipanema. The black and white promenade along the sand. The Christ statue overlooking it all. I normally like to do things on my own and rarely take organized group tours that are sold through excursion or travel offices. Ironic isn’t it that I used to work in such offices and was a tour guide myself for years? Nonetheless, with only eight hours in port, the “Rio City Tour” would suffice as it hit all of the highlights. And what a good call it was.
I never knew that cruise ships had expedited entrances at all of the sites.
I don’t know if this is everywhere but it is in Rio and it saved me hours.
Corcovado, straight to the front of the funicular line. Same thing for the gondola at Sugarloaf Mountain. Good luck weatherwise, too. Cool morning clouds but as I ascended Corcovado where the 100-foot statue of Christ the Redeemer overlooks all of Rio, the clouds part (yes, I sense the religious symmetry here) and glorious views all around. Yep, me and JC are like this (insert crossed finger emoji). Back down along the beaches, cloudy. Up the gondola to Sugarloaf Mountain in the afternoon, you guessed it, stunning sun and searing heat. Got the photo snaps to prove it.
Between the two ups and downs, there was a meat lover's lunch. A real churrascaria. This is where servers continually come by your table with various meats still sizzling on the spits and plop them onto your plate. Chicken? Yes please. Plop! Sausage? Oh yes. Plop! Ribs? Lamb? Prime rib? Asada? Yes, yes, yes…plop! plop! plop!! For dinner, I had a salad.
A balanced diet is very important.
I will return to Rio. This was a great intro to a wonderful city. I want to know more, see more, experience more. And maybe have another churrascaria!
Antarctica
My conquest of planet Earth is nearing its completion. Today, I arrived at the seventh continent: Antarctica. I’ve now been to them all. Well, technically I didn’t set foot on its icy shores but I saw it! Gee, I hope it still counts. Whoever is keeping the grand ledger of these things, I do hope she will overlook this tiny detail.
This place is spectacular. The weather cooperated as it was sunny, calm, and windless upon arriving in Paradise Harbor (this is on the peninsula that juts out in an arc from the continent towards South America. Look it up. It’s quite distinctive.) I can’t say that it was warm as it was hovering around 30 F (0 C) throughout the day. But the bay was pristine. Almost lake-like in its stillness. The surrounding landscape was astounding. Mountains over hanging sheer cliffs of ice. Icebergs, ranging from car-sized to building-sized, floated all around us. Ice floes with resting seals and penguins hobbling to and fro. And circling them, in the icy waters, a pod of orcas, just waiting for a snack. Further out in the bay, slight puffs of air denoted the location of humpback whales. I mean wow, it was (is) nature at its grandest.
It’s hard to get a true measure of this place. Looking at the ice cliff walls in the distance, they seem normal sized. It’s not until a research vessel steams past that you realize they’re over 500 feet high and that craggy mountain hovering above it is over a mile high!
Now, I’ve been to mountains before. Skied them many times, from Austria to Utah. But this is something else. The vastness, the desolation, the starkness, the grandeur, it belies all description. This is when I need that intuit guide to those 20 different words for snow and ice.
I think the best way to describe this place is by comparing it to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. That place is an example of negative space. It’s massive valleys and canyons that run for miles and miles. Well, here, it’s all "positive space" for thousands of miles. It’s on a continental scale. In fact, the US would fit comfortably within its confines. Snow and ice rise a mile above sea level and are raw, pure, untouched and wild. I truly am at a loss for words on how to describe continent number 7. But I’ll end with this:
If you ever get the chance to visit, please do. It’ll be worth it. And you don’t need to scrimp and save for that chi chi expedition nor the “come-and-camp-at-the-scientific-outpost” experience. You’re not a scientist drilling core samples or checking penguin poop for the latest version of krill, so don’t do it. Instead, just hop on a cruise ship leaving from either Santiago or Buenos Aires and view it from the comfort of the deck.
YOU. WILL. NOT. REGRET. IT.
Argentina
Buenos Aires
Massive, massive, yet small. It’s a South American version of Los Angeles: A smattering of cool neighborhoods connected by places you quickly drive through. I wanted to stay here for about 2 weeks. However, I realized that all of my flights would constantly be returning me to this city since none of the flights flew between the other cities. It’s a hub & spoke air system from the domestic airport which is right in town just off of the riverbank. The end result completely worked to my advantage.
Every week, Monday through Thursday, I’d go gallivanting somewhere in the country, then return to spend the weekend in a different neighborhood of Buenos Aires. This allowed me to experience the charm of the different barrios: Palermo (wide open green space with all of its parks); Recoleta (the famous cemetery with bars and restaurants vying to overlook said cemetery … I know, it’s kinda weird); San Telmo (colorful with cobblestoned streets and Tango in the park after dark); and even downtown, near the presidential palace, Casa Rosada, and the obelisk.
Mendoza
Hot and dry. And I do mean hot. It’s like Arizona in the summer where 100 degrees is the norm. But it’s a dry heat! (Ha Ha, I had to throw that in!)
This is also the place for wine, believe it or not, and Malbec is the grape. But how does it grow in such a place? Well, this is the interesting part because there’s hardly any rain here. The vines are fed by snow and ice melt from the neighboring Andes mountain range. How cool (or cold) is that? And isn’t there an old wine saying: the harder the life, the sweeter the fruit? Well, whatever it is, it’s yummers!!
Bariloche
Labeled and marketed as the “Switzerland” of South America. A city built around pristine mountain lakes in the Andes Mountains. *Big sigh* I really wanted to like this place. The lakes are pretty enough. Some of the mountains are still dusted with snow (remember, it’s summertime here). The city … meh! Sure there are a few little shops and restaurants built in an Alpine style but it’s chaotic, no real center to it, no charm, no … nothing memorable. You fly in, drive to your chalet, ski in wintertime, hike around the lakes in summertime, then get out.
Brazil (revisited)
Now comes the second visit to Brazil. In the trip timeline, it’s the end of February, about 6 weeks from my previous foray into Brazil. As I mentioned earlier, Uruguay was full of Brazilians. In lamenting to a lovely Brazilian couple about my missed Carnaval opportunity, they informed me that the government had received such a huge negative response that they pushed the tourist visa requirement back 3 months, into April! Aargh!! Lemons to lemonade, I say (especially if you add a splash of gin!) And so off to Brazil I returned for another quick look-see.
Florianopolis
The beach get-away for the 20 million or so city dwellers of Sao Paulo. Beautiful beaches to the north and northeast with white, powdery sand; lovely, warm water (though not crystal clear) and more importantly, a drier climate. One of the nicest beaches is Jurere Beach. Known as “Beverly Hills on the Bay”. Hmm, I don’t really don’t know about that but the homes are large and lovely, the place is safe, which is a definite plus in a very unsafe country, but “Beverly Hills”, no. I also liked that there were only two large hotels on the bay and one block behind the coastal dunes which kept the beach on the natural side.
Wait, that’s it?
Well, yeah. I did tell you that it’d be a quick look-see. I did want to go to Manaus in the middle of the Amazon but upon researching it, all systems were no-go! From a week of rain in the forecast and full fledged humidity, where you feel as if you’re literally walking through soup to outbreaks of Dengue Fever, Malaria and Chikungunya Virus…a most heartfelt “no thank you.” I didn’t need to go there to then nod my head in agreement and say, “Damn, they were right!”
Quick side note (this is 5 days after deciding to not go to the amazon):
My traveling companion to Florianopolis got Dengue Fever. How I avoided it is still being discussed and debated at the "Infectious Tropical Diseases Symposium."
Panama
I’m heading back home, folks. Officially out of South America, I’m spending my last week or so here. Panama City I’ve been to many times but I must say, since being here last, some sections of the city have been beaten with the ugly stick, long and hard! What happened here? The buildings have been scrubbed clear of paint only to be replaced by moldy highlights. Barbed wired, rusted of course, are the new hedges and, wouldn’t you know, I am here during a garbage strike. Yep, lovely piles rotting in the equatorial sun and heat, emitting … I’ll spare you the details but I think you can use your own imagination. And so I escape to the islands.
Pearl Islands
Only 90 minutes away by ferryboat on the Pacific side. There’s Contadora Island and its smaller sister, Saboga, as well as a dozen others. I opt for Saboga, the quieter of the two. Good choice. I stay in a lovely lodge above a private beach and for the first night, am the only guest. I get a balcony room overlooking the bay. At night, lulled to sleep by the waves and a gentle ocean breeze coming in through the wide opened sliding door, ahh nice … until the flying critters start buzzing my ears in the middle of the night. The sliding door slams shut and the A/C hums to life. Hooray for modern conveniences, though I preferred the natural wave machine sound.
Bocas del Toro
I finally made it! This place has been my travel “white whale” for over 20 years. I failed in my previous 3 attempts to get here. The first time was a mix up in airports. I arrived at the International Airport only to discover that my connecting flight was leaving from the National Airport, way across town. After a Formula 1 worthy race through town, I arrived just to waive bye bye to my flight. My second attempt, I rented a car to drive the length of Panama. But I got sidetracked on the Santa Catalina peninsula. Then a storm washed away part of the road forcing me back to Panama City. Attempt #3 was at Covid Christmas. I arrived on a Saturday and learned that the entire country was going into a hard 5-day lockdown on Monday. So I flew out Sunday to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic.
Fourth time’s a charm. Now, was it worth it after all of these attempts to get to Bocas Town? Hmm, that is a loaded question. It does seem to be on the “backpacker’s trail”, i.e. lots of white kids wearing dreads, which is always odd. There’s also a fairly good surf break, so lots of surfers here as well. The beach, “Playa Bluff”, a leisurely bike ride out of town, is absolutely spectacular. Now the road was horrible, laden with potholes but it hugged the beach so it was, in the end, a lovely ride. Though if you stared at the water too long, a pothole would jar your attention back to the road. Then the road abruptly ends and the “jungle road” begins. Yeah, you don’t really want to continue, even if you had a machete. Instead check out the beach. And what a beach it is. No one to the north for miles and maybe one local and his dog to the south. The water is clear and warm with fun waves to play in.
But back to Bocas Town. It’s going through a bit of a boom time. All of the streets are completely dug up as the “guts” of the town, water and sewage, are being replaced and improved because the airport is being expanded. That’s going to bring in many more tourists. In anticipation, there’s also lots of construction. And the new hotels remind me too much of my own kitchen where all the big work is done; wall removal, cabinetry, new appliances but the finishing touches are sorely missing. In these hotels the joints aren’t flush, the tiles are a bit wonky, the fixtures are wobbly, etc. You’d think that they’d spend maybe just an extra day to tighten everything up. But I get it, I’ve had over 5 years to paint my kitchen ceiling. I just no longer look up when I’m cooking at home. Problem solved!
But back to Bocas Town. I liked it. I really did but something nags at me that I just can’t place. Something that stops me from giving it the outstanding 5 stars that I give to very few places. The buildings remind me of a Caribbean island outpost. Bahamian gingerbread homes with large wrap around verandas painted in lovely pastel colors. Now I need to explain that the main buildings are half built on land with the other half on pylons over the water. Most of the buildings have open patios in the back overlooking the Atlantic (that’s what they call it here) or the Caribbean sea. But if you happen to be on one patio and the buildings on either side have longer patios, then your view turns into a picture-frame and not an expansive ocean view. It’s so haphazard.
And maybe that’s what’s bothering me. Why couldn’t they have built a seaside promenade? Instead it has a broken tooth, jagged look to it from the water. And now, some buildings are simply directly over the water with only a strip of slats connecting it to land. Where will this end? A floating 5-story hotel just off the main town? With, I don’t know, a whole annex town attached to it? And that’s the thing, there’s no zoning or if there is, then it’s too often circumvented by the highest bidder.
But back to Bocas Town. I still really liked it so I'm torn. It’s got a great laid back vibe to it and lots of lovely ladies walking around in bikinis (that’s always a plus and at least one, nay, two extra stars!) I think I’ll merely suspend my final decision until I revisit once the work is completed. After all, it took me 20 years to get here so what’s another ten. You’ll have my final verdict then.
Now, leaving the island was an adventure in itself. I flew in but opted to boat out and visit a bit more of Panama. It’s an hour boat ride in a lancha, that’s those Mexican style wooden fishing boats. It’s bang bang on the waves, sitting on fiberglass seats with wood plank backrests. I think I shrunk an inch or two over the course of the trip. But at one point it all calmed down and the sea went flat, the sky went gray and the horizon line disappeared. The hum of the engine faded, all was silver and I had the sensation of floating in space. It was an incredibly beautiful surreal moment, whooshing through space.
San Blas Islands
These islands are on the north-eastern side of the country near the border with Colombia. It’s the indigenous home of the Guna Yala people. These you’ll quickly recognize in pictures due to their very colorful dress and beaded arms and legs. Very distinctive. Now they were very smart in their tourism development. They live on about 50 islands but opened up half a dozen or so to tourist daytrippers. These islands are mere specs of land in the sea but have all of the requirements for picture postcard perfection. Sugary white sand, swaying palm trees, crystalline waters and wonderfully colorful tribesmen and women. Definitely worth a visit but be warned, it’s a 3+ hour drive from Panama city to the northern docks (i.e. 5 AM hotel pick up & the subsequent 3+ hour return), then water transpo is in those infamous lanchas that will break your back if there’s any chop. My day was choppy and I caught air a few times, slamming back onto the wooden bench. That was truly painful. But once off the boat and onto those idyllic islands, toes in the soft sand, floating in the warm water, watching the palms a-swayin’; you’re in another universe!
And now back home
Whew, this was a long one. Four months in fact. When all is said and done, I hope I was able to convey the majesty of this continent (actually, two!)
I implore you to visit if you ever get the chance. You will, as I did, discover that the locals are ever eager to help you. In fact, they are grateful that you’re even there, giving them, their culture, and their country a chance. So talk to them. Get out of your comfort zone. They will open up your hearts and you’ll experience the trip of a lifetime.
Damn, when did I get so sappy? Must be the jetlag.